With the Girl on Fire
by peetalover14
Summary: Peeta Mellark's point of view in the Hunger Games. This is my first fan fiction on this site and i hope you enjoy. Any comment is a good one, so please feel free to leave constructive criticism and any comments or questions you may have. All credit to Susan Collins. All charcters and most of the dialouge is hers.
1. Chapter 1

I eat slowly. The stale bread, not quite making its way down my dry throat. It might help if it were fresh, but it might also help if today wasn't reaping day. Luckily, I don't have to worry about my oldest brother, Bret, because he's old enough to look for a job. Considering we live in a bakery, we know what he'll choose. But instead, I have to hope with all my might that John and I don't get picked. Or Katniss.

I've known Katniss all my life, though she never stuck in my head until that one day in class when she sang the Valley Song. I swear, every bird within ear shot stopped to listen. They did the same for her father, who died in a mine explosion a few years back. Ever since her voice rang above the others', i knew. She was no longer just a girl I passed by, she was _the _girl. And after her father died she became so frail. I thought I was going to lose her. But after I tossed her that bread- and got slapped in the face by my mother- she was the Katniss I hoped to get to know. I may have controlled something that day, but the one thing I cannot control is the Hunger Games. And this year her sister, Primrose Everdeen, is in the bowl of slips too.

"Peeta!" my mother breaks me from my thoughts. "Eat your food! You're lucky you even have that! Those Seam people have nothing!"

I sink lower in my chair and force the food down. She is right. I shouldn't waste. The Seam people don't get much. But Katniss is probably eating better than I. She and her hunting partner, Gale Hawthorne, hunt all the time. She sells her squirrels here for my father's bread. Always amazed, I check the kill. Every piece of the body, intact, except the eye, which is where her arrow finds the animal always. And it might not bother me so bad if it were not for Gale. The way girls talk about him in town, like he's a prize meant to be won. And the way he looks at Katniss is plain, and everyone sees it. I constantly find myself defending her against the girls who are jealous of the attention she gets from Gale. But I know she is happy with him, and that is all I could ask for. Sure, I would like that to be me with her, but it won't happen. They will probably marry. And I will probably watch in the shadow as he leaves with the one who holds my heart forever.

Finishing the bread, I stand up and join my father and John, who wait for me in the front of the bakery.

"You look very nice, son." my father says in a solemn voice. No one is ever happy on this day, especially the parents. Just the thought of having your child leave for a death match is terrible. I try to do as much for my parents as possible, because in the end, they will suffer the most if I am picked. All that will happen to me is death. And if it comes, it was meant to be.

"Thank you." I tell him. He smiles the best he can and we begin our short walk to the Justice Building. Many people, children and adults alike, pass us with tired faces. Worn and dirtied by the coal dust that coats everything, they walk. I pass familiar faces. Delly Cartwright. Nevell Dorwing. Kids from school with their parents. Most of these people, including me, have slept in as long as possible. Why get up early if not necessary? In front of the Justice Building, a temporary stage has been built. Two bowls, a podium, and three chairs sit atop it. Two of those three chairs are filled buy Mayor Undersee and Effie Trinket, District 12's escort. Haymitch Abernathy, District 12's past Victor, should fill it. He's probably passed out, drunk. Ever since he came back from his games, he has been an alcoholic. In the crowd, I see her. Katniss. She looks beautiful in a blue dress that makes her olive skin and grey eyes stand out, and her dark hair braided atop her head.

John and I sign in and take our places. I search for Katniss' face but instead see my familys'. My brother, mother, and father stand on the outskirts of the area. Those who do not participate stand there. John stands a few feet to my left, looking at the ground. This will be his last year. Finally, I catch sight of Katniss. Beautiful. Breathtaking. And every year, in case I am picked, I do the same thing. I try to let go of her. Erase her from my mind, release her from my heart. And every year, it never works.

But, let the games begin.


	2. Chapter 2

The crowd of people around me are tense as Mayor Undersee steps up to the podium. A hush falls over us all. As he reads off hat he does every year, I focus on what I always do.

_Please don't let it be Katniss,_ I think to myself, _or John. Let this be over with. Let us be safe. Let them be safe._

__ I'm not sure if I could live without Katniss or John. I'm snapped back to reality when a boy behind me sneezes, making me jump. Mayor Undersee is reading off the past Victors, which consist of Haymitch Abernathy and one other. That many in Seventy-four years. Only Haymitch lives to today, drunk and alone. As I think of this, he stumbles on stage and into his chair. He tries to hug Effie, who successfully fights him off, though her wig seems to be disheveled. Just then, the mayor introduces Effie and she almost runs to the podium to get away from Haymitch.

"Happy Hunger Games!" she says in her Capitol accent. "And may the odds be _ever _in your favor." She babbles about how happy she is to be here, but we all know how big a lie it is. Not even the coal wants to be in District 12. We all know she's itching to get promoted to something better like trash pickup.

"Ladies first" she says before trotting to the girl's bowl.

_Please, not Katniss, _I hope to myself, _Please, not her._

And as Effie reaches the podium, all of the blood in my body rushes to my feet. My face goes as white as a ghost and i can barely hear over the buzzing in my ear. The crowd goes silent as she reaches the podium and unfolds the slip. Her lips just making out the name. The one name I stupidly forgot.

"Primrose Everdeen!" Effie says.

I look at the small girl, her face pale, her fist clenched. How could she get picked? It's her first year and Katniss would have never let her take out Tesserae. Katniss! I look at her pale face. Shock, mortification, disbelief. Primrose starts to walk toward the stage when the words escape her lips.

"Prim!" Katniss cries. "Prim!" She moves through the crowd swiftly and swoops her sister behind her. No, this cannot be happening.

"No! Katniss don't!" I want to scream to her, but my throat has gone scratchy.

"I volunteer!" Katniss gasps. "I volunteer as tribute!"

_No! No! This is all wrong! This wasn't supposed to happen!, _I scream at myself.

"Lovely!" Effie exclaims. "But I believe there's a small matter of introducing the reaping winner and then asking for volunteers, and if one does come forth the we, um..." She trails off, confused. District 12 has never had a volunteer.

The mayor looks at Katniss sadly. "What does it matter?" he says. "What does it matter? Let her come forward."

Primrose screams from behind her sister. "No, Katniss! No! You can't go!" Primrose screams.

"Prim," says Katniss, "let go. Let go!"

Gale comes up and grabs the screaming girl from Katniss, whispering something unintelligible to Katniss. She walks up the stage and to Efiie's side, staring into the distance.

"That's the spirit of the Games!" Effie cheers. "What's your name?"

"Katniss Everdeen" Katniss says.

"I bet my buttons that was your sister. Don't want her to steal all the glory, do we?" Effie says.

I'm disgusted by how she thinks it is because of the fame that comes with winning. It was because Katniss loves her sister. I would do the same for my brothers anyday.

"Come on, everybody!" says Effie. "Let's give a big round of applause to our newest tribute!"

But no one claps or cheers. We're all sad. Katniss was known by everyone because of who she traded with and because of her father. She is loved. In the back, i can just hear the faint crying of her mother. So as in unision, totally unplanned, we all raise our three middle fingers to our lips and salute them to Katniss. It is the salute of District 12. It means thanks, admiration, goodbye to someone you love. This is definitely someone I love.

"Look at her. Look at this one!" Haymitch slurs. He stumbles to Katniss and places an arm around her shoulder. "I like her! Lots of... spunk!" he points directly into a camera. "More than you!"

Is he crazy? Does he want to be killed? I'm not sure whether he is addressing the Capitol or President Snow or us? Then, he walks forward, still pointing, toward the camera and pummels off the stage and onto the ground. Every Camera is trained on him. I'm positive we are the laughing stock of the country. A stretcher loads him on and takes him away.

"What an exciting day!" Effie draws back the attention. "But, more excitement to come! It's time to choose our boy tribute!"

She holds her wig in place as she trots to the bowl, digs for a slip, and trots back. I don't even have time to hope for John when she calls the name.

"Peeta Mellark!" she calls.

I'm frozen in place. How could the day get any worse? I guess this means I can protect Katniss. Like she needs me. A boy behind me gives me a push and my feet move toward the stage. No one volunteers for me. I don't blame John. It is his last year. I know he loves me, but he doesn't have to prove it that way. He has Bret still. Katniss would have had no one. But now I am in some form of Hell. I'll be in a fight to the death with my love. She will have to kill me. I'll ask her to. I would rather she did than anyone else.

My feet stumble up the steps and I shuffle to Effie's side. She steps back so Mayor Undersee can recite the Treaty of Treason, as he does every year. When he is done, he tells Katniss and I to shake hands. We do and her warm hand full of hunting callouses and cuts, comforts me. I look into her Seam grey eyes. They are lost, given up all hope. I give her hand a slight squeeze, reassuringly and she almost looks shocked.

We release our grip as a group of white uniformed Peacekeepers ushers us into the Justice Building while the Panem anthem plays. Seperated, they put us in different rooms. Luxurious, plush. Velvet couches, paneled walls, glass and silver. For most people this would mean an oncoming treat. For me, it means certain death. This is where i will say my last goodbyes. To my friends, my family, to life.


	3. Chapter 3

I sit on the soft velvet couches. The material is smooth beneath my burned hands. Fire isn't kind to those who favor ice. Winter has always been my favorite season, what with all the snow and cookies, who wouldn't? I found this was my favorite season when I burned my hands taking out bread from the oven one year. I was in such a rush, I had forgotten the rules of baking bread, and burned my hands. those burns will never go away, but I guess it is a good thing. A memoir of my family and where I am from.

The door of the room opens and a Peacekeeper pushes in my two brothers and my father, whom wear sad faces and red eyes. They sit on the couch adjacent to me, hands in their lap or around their face. We are silent for a moment until Bret speaks up.

"She couldn't come, it was too much for her." he says. I figure he means my mother. Though, I am not so sure if that is the reason she stayed away.

"It's all right." I say. "I love her just the same."

"You know," says John, "you can win this." I shake my head. If anyone could lose, so badly it even makes the Capitol cringe, it would be me.

"Don't say that!" my father snaps. He uses a tone I have only heard from my mother. "You can win. You may not be a hunter, but you have the best chance as anyone." he tells me.

My eyes are wide, shocked. Never such a sharp, forceful tone has escaped his throat. It both scares and encourages me.

"Dad, I am not sure if you have noticed, but I haven't exactly got a skill useful for killing." I say the last word through my teeth. I won't kill anyone, I can't. The thought itself disgusts me.

His face goes solemn because he knows I am right. What could I possibly do in the arena? Talk someone to death? Get in someone's way? Bake everyone a big, giant cake? The best shot I've got is sitting in the corner to die.

"You can try." he says in a whisper louder than a shout. "Your best. Try your hardest. We want you back, Peeta."

For some reason, this makes tears fall from my eyes. Silent, uncontrollable ones. Maybe it is because I know I will probably never come back. Maybe it is because I know I will miss them as much as they miss me. I wipe the water from my face and stand up to meet my father, who has stood with his arms wide. I hug him first before hugging my brothers, who tell me just how hard to try in my ear.

So when the door opens and they are forced to leave, wwe are okay. It was somehow a closure. Though I will miss them desperately, I have let them go. I am now closer to being ready for death to come.

My next visitor comes as a surprise. With her yellow hair in a braid down her back over her white dress comes Delly Cartwright. Delly is an old family friend. Her parents, who own a shoe shop a few shops down from the bakery, are very close to mine. As young children, we would pretend we were related. We could be, really. She has long hair that is a closer color to yellow than blond, blue eyes, and pale skin. She sits next to me and I place my head on her shoulder. Her hand strokes through my hair soothingly.

"Oh, Peeta," she says, "What are we going to do with you? Going into the arena... Who is going to decorate the cakes? Who will make the cookies? It will be nearly impossible without you. But, it shouldn't be too bad in the arena. You have Katniss. She seems like a nice girl. Pretty too. It would be nice to meet her, but the Peacekeepers won't let me. And, she can shoot. If you two stick together, you'll have all the food you need."

She babbles on about how I will be okay in the arena with Katniss and how bad it will be without me here, in District 12. She can't help it. She is always cheery and makes the best of even bad situations.

Finally she stops for a short moment and then say the first real words that have come out of her mouth yet. "I'll miss you alot, Peeta."

And I know she knows I won't come back. The odds are, not even Katniss will win. It will probably be some kid from One or Two. She will miss me when I have finally gone.

"I'll miss you too, Delly." I say in a whisper. The Peacekeeper comes to collect her and she gives me a tight hug and kiss on the cheek before leaving. I sit down and await the Peacekeeper to come for me. But instead, the door opens for another visitor. One I thought would not be coming. My mother.


	4. Chapter 4

My mother, worn eyes and natural scowl apparent. Her face is red from crying. Slowly but with jerking movements, she goes to the couch but does not sit. Her arms cross in front of her chest and she says nothing. We simply stare at one another, not really looking. Then, feeling as if I can do no better, I stand and wrap my arms around her. She loosens under my arms and hugs back uncomfortably. My mother has never been one for affection. She is more favorable of discipline. But I never blame her, I can't.

"You'll be okay." She says into my shoulder. It was a barely audible whisper and I wonder if it is for me.

"You will." I tell her. "You have dad and John and Bret. You don't need me." We are silent for a minute. I hold her, because, honestly, this is the longest I've ever hugged my mother. She forbid it when I was younger. She had told me that too much physical contact could start attachment. And I guess she was right. I can see why someone might consider that option if they had children. What, with the Hunger Games letting go of someone is unbearable. Maybe no affection was her way of letting us go before we got chosen. Or maybe this is my way of explaining something I can't.

"Peeta," she says. "listen to me. I have always loved you and I always will. I'm sorry if I ever made you doubt that. Just try your best, all right? That girl, Katniss, she's good. She can help you."

Then the Peacekeeper came back which made me realize how long I had been in her embrace. She pulled away and touched her palm to my cheek. Removing her eyes from my face, she walked through the door, but not before I could hear the unmistakable words.

"District Twelve may actually have a victor this year." She whispered as the door shut. My heart sank low. From her previous words to the ones she just spoke, I knew. She didn't mean me.


End file.
